Friday, November 11, 2011

Post #7: Klutzes Unite!

I hate working out mainly because I can never seem to coordinate all of my limbs the right way. I can either get my arms doing what they need to be doing, or my legs, but never both at the same time. This frequently results in massive fails - i.e. bruises, nasty spills, ineffective workout maneuvers, or major embarrassment.

For instance, once I went to a gym in Maryland, a rather nice one called "Life Time Fitness" or something like that. I thought I was so cute in my little running ensemble with my iPod. I hopped on, started to run, and jammed out to the music. Next thing I knew, my leg was wrapped around the bar and the tread was hammering my prone ass. I'm pretty sure that didn't go unnoticed. In fact, I know it didn't because the laughter was pretty loud. I heard it over the music that was still playing in my little iPod earbuds.

Even at home I manage to kick over the table lamp or knock over a drink that's across the room. I don't know how. It's borderline telekinesis, if you ask me.

Sometimes I let it stop me from "going for it" - at the gym, at home, outside. I get too embarrassed, so I just don't do it. This feeling is especially bad in gyms where macho buff guys and hot little fem-machines are literally making the workout equipment their bitches.

Anybody else out there feel that way?

I call it the "Bella Syndrome." Twilight fans, anybody? Remember how crazy inept Bella was? She couldn't even go to gym class without whacking herself and a friend over the head with a racket in the same swing.

Well, from this day forward I make a promise to myself to stop letting the embarrassment get in the way of my fitness goals! I say that all us klutzes unite together in a common goal: taking the fitness scene back from the eerily graceful studs and femme fatales!

Who's with me?




1 comment:

Sam and Tanya said...

ummm yeah! that's like most of the reason i don't work out if anyone can see me. i have zero coordination. if someone tells me to do something different, i'm like, "umm how do you make your leg do that???"