Post #7: Klutzes Unite!

I hate working out mainly because I can never seem to coordinate all of my limbs the right way. I can either get my arms doing what they need to be doing, or my legs, but never both at the same time. This frequently results in massive fails - i.e. bruises, nasty spills, ineffective workout maneuvers, or major embarrassment.

For instance, once I went to a gym in Maryland, a rather nice one called "Life Time Fitness" or something like that. I thought I was so cute in my little running ensemble with my iPod. I hopped on, started to run, and jammed out to the music. Next thing I knew, my leg was wrapped around the bar and the tread was hammering my prone ass. I'm pretty sure that didn't go unnoticed. In fact, I know it didn't because the laughter was pretty loud. I heard it over the music that was still playing in my little iPod earbuds.

Even at home I manage to kick over the table lamp or knock over a drink that's across the room. I don't know how. It's borderline telekinesis, if you ask me.

Sometimes I let it stop me from "going for it" - at the gym, at home, outside. I get too embarrassed, so I just don't do it. This feeling is especially bad in gyms where macho buff guys and hot little fem-machines are literally making the workout equipment their bitches.

Anybody else out there feel that way?

I call it the "Bella Syndrome." Twilight fans, anybody? Remember how crazy inept Bella was? She couldn't even go to gym class without whacking herself and a friend over the head with a racket in the same swing.

Well, from this day forward I make a promise to myself to stop letting the embarrassment get in the way of my fitness goals! I say that all us klutzes unite together in a common goal: taking the fitness scene back from the eerily graceful studs and femme fatales!

Who's with me?

CHALLENGE 1: P90X

I have decided to do fitness challenges in periods of 30 days. They say (I don't know who "they" are, but whatever) that it takes 21 days to make a habit. So I figure 30 days is enough to get a feel for a workout program and decide whether it's for me or not. Plus, shaking things up always helps keep your attention in a workout schedule.

Drum roll, please...

CHALLENGE NUMERO UNO: P90X

Famous fitness program through Beachbody fitness. It's an at-home program that about a billion people have talked about and loved. Using muscle confusion, I will confuse my body to super-sexydom. It requires six workouts per week with a change in nutrition (lots of protein, whole grains, vegetables, and other such roughage). I will be doing the LEAN track.

Check it:

http://www.teambeachbody.com/workout-routines/p90x-workout

With a schedule of 2-3 twelve-hour shifts per week at the hospital, four days of classes, all while planning a wedding, I know this may be rough. But it's important, so in the words of Tony Horton, I will BRING IT.

POST #4: GOAL POST

"You must have long-term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short-term failures."

-Charles C. Noble

I don't want to have any failures, short-term or otherwise, but we all know that life gets in the way of our plans sometimes.

But plans are the only way to succeed with fitness - especially prior to a big date (like your wedding date, ahem).

What are your goals? What's your timeline?

For me, I have until August 4th, 2012, to fit into the gown of my dreams (it's a Claire Pettibone, thereby making it the best kind of dress ever). That's exactly 267 days, or 9 months away from today.

Nine months??? you ask. Yes, I will spend nine months getting ready. Not two weeks or six weeks or two months. You have to start as early as possible, otherwise you will just be crash dieting, not changing your fitness habits.

Though, of course, there always things you can do in the last few weeks leading up to your wedding to give you that extra boost. But let's start back here, in "just engaged" land. We're not quite to "let's look like Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts" land. We'll get there later.

For now, let me share some of my goals:

Goal #1: Lose a total of 11 inches by August 4th, 2012.

*"Lose a few inches?! But you're already skinny!" Go read my "You're Already Skinny" post. I'm not trying to starve my muscle off here. I'm trying to slim down and tone up. Inch loss is a good indicator that you've succeeded in this endeavor - not weight loss.

Goal #2: Be able to lift 12 pound weights through a whole workout by August 4th, 2012.

*I am an utter weakling. I've always wanted to be able to heft around 12 pound weights during a workout. It would make me feel pretty bad ass.

Goal #3: Wear a bikini at the beach without a cover-up by next summer, 2012.

*Blah, blah, blah. Don't give me that hoopla about feeling good in a bikini now. Don't want to hear it. I know there are other beach cover-up types out there too! Let us unite and throw the beach covers into the ocean together next summer.

Pretty simple but well-defined goals. A good goal should include a definitive/quantitative intention with a deadline. That way you can measure your successes on the way to your end-goal.

Feel free to share your goals. I'd be interested in seeing what other brides/fitness types are trying to accomplish.

POST #1: Welcome to the Land of Slim

Hello.

There's hundreds of millions of articles floating around out there about America getting fat, America getting unhappy, America getting sick because America is fat and unhappy. Don't even get me started on American divorce rates.

Somehow, we never seem to correlate our overall well-being to our happiness in our other endeavors, such as marriage. Feeling overweight, tired, and stressed out? Don't have time to work out? Your spouse doesn't seem to want to hop in the sack with you anymore? Now you're even more miserable because it seems like you have found out after all these years that your spouse was shallow and only liked you for your hot body?

Come on.

Your body is your vehicle for EVERYTHING you do. Just like your car, you can't get from point A to point B unless it's running right. We can pretend that a car filled with bags of garbage or the wrong type of gasoline are still "great" cars because they're being driven by awesome people, but we all know the truth. We don't want cars that are garbage trucks. We want cars that will run smoothly, cars that are nice and sleek.

So, why spend all of that time investing money into a nice car and paying for all of the expensive maintenance of said car, but not take care of your own body?

I'm not sitting here advocating for silicone implants or size zero jeans. I'm talking about a sexy little Honda Civic body or smooth, sleek Toyota Camry curves.

Why am I talking about this in conjunction with marriage? Because I think it's a topic that is often stressed over by brides, but rarely discussed in a meaningful way. People either crash diet their way into a tiny dress and then gain all the weight back afterward to the dissatisfaction of their spouses, or they just continue to gain weight over time, little by little...

Weddings are a good way to jump start your way into a lifetime of fitness. Just think: if you feel good and look good, won't that translate into a better springboard for all of the other problems that come along with marriage? Or would you rather approach those problems from the platform of a tired, unhappy, and overweight wife?

We can all pretend that gaining weight is something best left undiscussed, since the love your spouse has for your should be entirely separate from your physical appearance. But what about attraction? Yeah, all the love in the world is great, but if you're not having sex because you're no longer attracted to each other, then you're just friends living in the same space.

Come along with me on my journey to becoming a fit and sexy bride. I'll share all of my best tips and tricks, as well as hilarious fitness stories...maybe you'll learn a thing or two.